I am NOT Superwoman!

As a stay-at-home/homeschooling mom, I'll be the first to tell you that there is an unspoken "pressure" that we put on ourselves to have it all together, get it all done, be everything for everyone and do it all with a clean house and homemade bread in the oven.  Oh, and the bread should be made from whole-wheat grain that you grew in the backyard garden.  Blah, blah, blah....Well, I don't have it all that together.  I'm not.even.close!  Every January I come up with a list of goals for the year.  Not so much resolutions, just goals to keep me motivated.  So far, I'm way behind.  Going from a family of 4 to a family of 5 was much harder than I anticipated.  But, isn't everything worth having, a little harder to come by than the easy stuff?  I spend most of the day with a baby on my hip and trying to keep the other 2 from screaming at each other.  This was not what I expected.  There is a lot of jealousy between the 2 big girls.  Not jealousy that Doug and I are giving our attention to her, but jealousy when Marlee gives her attention to the other sister.  They fight over her constantly!  School is going well for Maggie and I find that things get easier in January since the holidays are behind us.  Morgan is beginning to pick up on her #'s and letters a little more now that she's almost 4 and she enjoys doing "homework".  Marlee is adjusting as well as can be expected.  She's adjusting better than I would if I was alone in China for the last 30 days.  I so wish I was the mom who let her children be creative, messy, adventurous and care-free, but in this stage of my life, I'm really craving still and quiet. Some days I feel like we only "survived" the day instead of "thrived".  I pray for a season of still and quiet time for our family.  Time to get back as a family unit and time to be still together.  I'm not sure if or when that time will come again now that everyone is growing up.  Maybe I'll add it to my list of goals for 2013...hey, it can't hurt!