December Adoption Update

This will be a very Merry Christmas for some families who will be receiving their referral this week.  Unfortunately, it's not us.  China matched referrals for dates Aug. 8-10, 2006.  That puts us being 40 days away.  The last several batches have been only 2 or 3 days at a time.  I'm SERIOUSLY hoping for a speed-up in 2012.  I've had my heart set on receiving a referral in the Spring and that won't happen at this rate.  We REALLY, REALLY need to travel before Aug. so we can stay under the "old paperwork".  If we have to renew and have the "new paperwork" then we have to wait 4-6 months to travel.  If we can travel under the old paperwork then we can travel in 6-8 weeks.  That's a HUGE difference when you have an ocean between a momma and her baby!  Merry Christmas everyone!

November Adoption Update

We are still creeping along the adoption journey.  China matched referrals for the dates Aug. 3-7, 2006.  How can this journey seem so short, yet SO long all in the same moment?   I can't believe that in the Spring of next year (hopefully) we'll finally receive a picture of our daughter and see her face looking back at us from our computer screen.  But, it seems like every month we are just at a snail's pace creeping along a never-ending path.  I've heard time and time again that once you hold your child for the first time in that hotel in China, that all the years of waiting just instantly melt away.  On the flip side, I can't help but think that 4 months old is the youngest I have ever seen matched.  Spring of next year is 4 months from now.  That means that she's already been born and more than likely, already been abandoned.  As happy as I am that she will be part of our family, I realize that she's been left somewhere....abandoned, to now live (temporarily) in an orphanage.  It breaks my heart that I can't get to her now, to feed her, hold her, let her know that she belongs with us.  If you are reading this, please pray for my sweet daughter right now.  Pray that she's comforted, cared for, well fed and healthy.  Also, please pray for her birth parents.  China has a different thought about children, about their daughters, but I can't help but think that her birth mother is aching for her.  Replaying the day that she left her somewhere and then walked away.  I tell myself that if there was ANY other way, she wouldn't have abandoned her.  I want my daughter to be wanted, loved and greatly missed by her birth family.  I hope they just couldn't parent her for whatever reason and knew abandonment was the only way they could selflessly ensure she would be taken care of.  And WILL she be taken care of.....I have two big sisters here who can't wait for her to come home.  This was our last Thanksgiving as a family of 4, that's something to be thankful for!

October adoption update

China matched referrals for dates July 29-Aug. 2, 2006.  I'll take 5 days....even if two of those were weekends and no one was really matched on July 29th or 30th.  I'm so happy that they are FINALLY in August.  I think we are going to begin a countdown system at our house.  We are going to put 48 marbles in a jar and each month remove the corresponding number of marbles as days matched.  This will be a good visual for our girls to see how close we are getting.  One of these days all those marbles will be gone and we'll finally see our little girl's precious face staring back at us.  Joy, joy!!  Just 48 more days to get through, wow!

September Update!

I am giddy with excitement this month....China matched 14 days!  14 days!!!!  Last month they only matched 2 so this is HUGE!  China has matched log in days through July 28, 2006.  We are Sept. 19, 2006 so that only leaves 52 days for them to get through before it's OUR TURN!!  I am still being optimistic by saying that I think we will receive our referral in the spring of 2012 and hope to travel and be home before summer.  It's wild to think that this time next year we'll be a family of 5!

Why I homeschool...

Lots of folks have been asking me lately how school is going....well, I've decided to write a blog post about it because I have too much to say in a 1 minute response and I'm sure no one is wanting the full story when they ask.  So, here it goes.  I know when most people heard that we were homeschooling, they thought we were crazy.  Well, yes....we are crazy.  I'll go ahead and get that out of the way.  I wanted to homeschool for the 2 school years prior but just didn't have the nerve to do it.  Once I finally made the decision to go for it, I was SCARED-TO-DEATH!!  I'm a certified teacher with a Master's degree but I was scared to teach my own child.  I don't really know what I was afraid of...the unknown, having the sole responsibility for teaching her, for what people would say if we succeeded, or *gasp* if we failed.  Probably definitely the latter.  Overall, I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to teach my girls.  It's exciting to teach them a new skill and then use it throughout our day, week, month....because I know everything they are learning, I can reinforce it every chance I get.  I get to reinforce it at home, at the grocery, through literature, music, etc.....  M1 gets to learn to play 2 musical instruments....TWO!!!  We go to lessons during the day so it doesn't take time away from daddy when he gets home.  Then, we get to practice at all times of the day!  We learn about math/money while we're at the check out of the grocery, while we calculate how much time until lunch, when we measure/cook breakfast and lunch (which we now do together everyday).  We also use a math curriculum so, yes, we do REAL sit-down learning too.  We have TIME to do all the life-skills that I want my girls to know.  We are learning about weather this week and will be going on 2 different field trips to reinforce the studying.  In addition, we'll be doing science experiments to mimic how clouds are formed.  These are just a FEW of the examples of how we get to learn at home.  My girls get to sleep as late as they want each day (within reason, but they are both early-risers) instead of me having to wake them up to eat, dress, brush and be at school before 7:30.  Was there any early morning quality time?  Now our mornings begin with cooking breakfast together, Bible study, prayer and singing a hymn.  My girls PLAY together, M1 sings to M2 and teaches her colors and numbers, M1 has gotten over a lot of the "tween" things she was interested in such as Justin Bieber, Hannah Montana, Disney channel, etc....  She's happy to play and listen to things that are more "age appropriate" now that she doesn't have to impress any of her peers with her tween style.  M1 gets to do swim team twice a week because we don't have to worry about spending time in the car in the afternoon...she's been with me for the past 8 hours so I don't mind driving her to swim, watching and then driving her home.  Usually, the whole family sits and watches her. Before, I felt like I was picking her up from school, just to drop her off with someone else for another hour of the day.  We also go to Wed. night church because we don't have to be in bed by 7:30.  We spend more social time with other families than we ever did before and I'm thrilled that with this social time, all the parents are involved. The biggest fear I hear from everyone is, "what about her socialization?".  Well, M1 now spends MORE time with friends and they are all different ages.  I'm excited that she's friends with 5, 7, 8, and 10 year olds.  She's learning how to work well with others instead of her peer group being 20 other 7 year olds with only one adult influence for most of her school day.  At school, she was only allowed to really talk to her friends at lunch and recess, now she gets to spend hours hanging out with friends and adults. Now for the cons....I could go crazy some days spending 24/7 with my children.  There....I said it.  I love being a mom, but sometimes a girl could use a break.  Thankfully, I've gotten over the mommy guilt of just saying "I need some time by myself".  Doug is great to take the girls, or just let me leave.  I've joined MOPS at church and have made time for myself to go to the garage and exercise...ALONE!  I can leave the girls alone to play, or watch Little House on the Prairie while I ride the bike on the trainer or do some weights. We are together so much, I don't mind saying "it's time for you to go find something to do".  I'm learning how to let my kids entertain themselves and read alone...wait a minute....wasn't I supposed to be talking about cons?  OK, let me get back to those.  Sometimes M1 doesn't think I can teach her anything.  Afterall, don't all 7 year old girls know everything?  Sometimes there is whining about sitting down to learn spelling, math or taking a test. We are all still human and sometimes school is not fun.  But, life is not always fun, or butterflies and rainbows.  My kids need to learn that too, so sometimes we have power struggles. Sometimes I have days where if the public school principal was sitting at my kitchen table I would sign her up for public school on the spot (I guess that's why principals don't hang out at homeschoolers kitchen tables).  Sometimes people just want to see us fail and that's a hard one to swallow.  I'm doing what works for our family right now so the negative people just really bother me.  I'm not preaching homeschooling and condemning other families for not doing it.  I LOVE public school and I CERTAINLY don't want all of my friends to homeschool.  Some personalities just don't need to put that stress on themselves or their family and it's certainly not for everyone.  But for us, for now, it's working.  Will we do this forever....NO!  So, that's the story of the Perry's homeschool life.  Whew....aren't you glad you didn't ask me how homeschooling was going while we were standing in Wal-Mart and this post was the answer I gave you....I think your ice cream would have melted!

August Referral Update!

I am seriously bummed about this months referrals.  I KNOW that many, many families are over the moon this week because they have received their referrals, and I am very, very happy for them.  But, I am seriously bummed that they only only matched 2 days...July 13 & 14th.  On Sept. 19th it will be the 5 year milestone of our paperwork being logged in to China.  Now they are slowing down to 2 days a month~it's going to be forever!  I can't remember how long it's been since they've done such a small batch.  The next two days, July 15-16 was a weekend so even if it looks like they are matching more days next month, we have to keep in mind that for 2 of those days, no one was logged in.  Sorry about the pity-party for this post, but I need to get it out of my system.

We're getting there....

Since my last post, things have been much, much better in the world of homeschooling!  My last post was a reflection of a really bad day.  I was beginning to let self-doubt, insecurities and failure creep into my mind.  I spent that evening thinking about why in the world I decided to do this whole homeschooling thing.  As I started to mentally process all of it, I realized that the reasons I homeschool are still the same, the benefits are the same, and the time I get to invest  in my children is still the same.  I'm not going to let the enemy steal this time from me and my family.  I want to reap what I sow, so I'm willing to spend time, energy, time, attention, time, time and more time to sow what I believe is the foundation to my children's future.  My thought was, "is this God allowing me to fail to show me that it's not His plan for me to homeschool, or is the enemy realizing what a blessing and gift this is and he hates it so much he's trying to get me to stop...".  The more I thought about what scripture says I realized that His Word doesn't ever encourage parents to stop investing in, teaching, or spending time with their children.  In fact, as Moses was about to take the entire Israelite population into the Promised Land, he stopped and instructed them to be responsible about their next generation, to make sure to teach them as you lay down, as you walk and as you sit at home.  Moses doesn't specifically call out parents in his speech.  He's talking to the entire population because he knew it would take everyone to be responsible for the next generation.  Because of that, I believe that homeschooling is NOT the only way to teach.  I want to be clear about that!  However, at this time, homeschooling is the most beneficial way for our family to rear our children in the ways of the Lord.  It thrills me to no end, when we've had a great day of teaching, learning, reading, Bible study, music, outside time, etc....so on those days when everything seems to be a flop, I need to remember that tomorrow will be a new day!  Thanks for all of you who have encouraged us so much!  Gotta' run...it's time for school to start and I don't want the principal to catch me on the computer!

It's a flop....so far!

I think of myself as a pretty good mom.  I also think of myself as a pretty good teacher.  However, I feel like a total failure as I combine the two.  Homeschooling is H.A.R.D.  for me.  That's all I've got for today, folks!

Happy Birthday to me....

I know most folks don't like a big "hoorah" on their birthday....but I sure do.  I'm thrilled to be 35, happy, healthy and still moving forward with my life.  Lots of folks would like to say that, but can't, so I'm going to enjoy each and every day I get on this Earth.  I've got adult acne, wrinkles and a little more weight around the hips than I would like, but BIG DEAL....I've got it pretty good!  We have our house on the market right now and had an offer after just 8 days, but that eventually fell through because we weren't willing to negotiate on a major detail, so we're back at square one on that!  The cable boxes have been returned to the cable company.  Maggie said today, "my baby's gone...." meaning the TV.  She's just like her momma' because I sort of feel like that too :) but we're pressing onward!  The homeschooling is in week 2 and I'll honestly say that it's much harder than I anticipated.  I think I was expecting M1 to do too much work from the get-go, so I've chilled out a bit and started to work on having more FUN with our day.  At the rate we were going, she would have finished 2nd grade by Thanksgiving ;)  I'm also beginning to look for more life skills to focus on instead of all school work, work, work!  We'll figure out our routine soon!  Now, off to a birthday date with my favorite guy (who has a birthday in 4 days...I'm 4 days older and I DREAD the time when I'm 40 and he's still 39).  I'm such a cougar-hee, hee! 

Purging

I have to purge ...  I went to the store this weekend and bought some things that didn't qualify as NEEDS!  I was alone (which doesn't usually happen at the store) and had too much time on my hands to wander aimlessly.  I got scotch tape, skinny magic markers and a 2nd grade handwriting tablet.  Oh, I was so WEAK!!  Well, I'm going to get back on the wagon and try again.  Onto a more positive note....homeschooling started today.  We did pretty well.  The plumber was here to put in a new hot water heater so we had a little disruption, but overall things went GREAT!  M1 helped me cook breakfast and supper, spent 4 1/2 hours on schoolwork (with some short breaks in there), and then played with her little sister, did a sewing project, and explored nature for the rest of the day.  The morning went so quickly.  I guess it's true that "time flies when you're having fun"!  Oh, I sure hope I can teach her something this year.

Phase 3

Phase 3 is one that I hope we can check off our list.  We have our house on the market as of yesterday!  Our plan is to sell our house, build on our farm and grow a lot of food.  The whole purpose of being on our farm is to raise chickens, maybe goats and/or sheep, have a garden, etc...  We hope to be more self-sufficient with our food.  We already have beef cattle so we're hoping to raise some chickens, eat Grandaddy's fish that he likes to catch, and grow and can/freeze our vegetables.  We LOVE where we live now, but we just don't have the ability to farm here.  We'll see how it goes....if you need a GREAT 4 bedroom house, let us know!

Phase 2-Redo

O.K., it's been about a week since my last post and I still have cable.  I told you I've been dreading this, didn't I?  Procrastination is something that I've gotten down to a science.  For example, I will always stop drinking Coke, start eating better, and exercising.....ON MONDAY!  Well, THAT Monday never seems to be on my calendar.  I guess I'm just waiting for some "special holiday Monday" like Yom Kippor or Paralegal Secretary's Day, or something.  Who knows?  I'm just good at Procrastination.  But....please let me finish....I always have a totally good explanation for it.  Well, my totally good explanation for still having cable is~ I finished full-time childcare on Friday and schools starts next Monday so we're using this week as an "all-out staycation" which includes allowing M1 to watch TV.  So sue me....I'm a procrastinating, cable-watching, non-exercising, Coke drinker.  Don't worry though....everything will change on MONDAY! hee-hee.
Now, about Phase 1.  I've done really well about not buying anything.  I forgot to mention a small loop-hole in my phase 1.  I CAN buy something if it's used (Goodwill, yard sale, etc....) because I think it's technically recycling.  The point of this phase is to stop buying, throwing away, and buying more.  Buying a recycled product is just keeping something in the cycle instead of buying NEW.  I have done one small purchase I must confess....I've ordered a t-shirt for myself and a friend (long story, sort of like a "big sister" sorority thing where I buy something for my "little sister") because we are both in a community organization together.  When we do our volunteer work we need to be wearing our t-shirts so although it's not a life-sustaining need, I bought them because we're placing one order for the year.  I haven't PAID for them yet, so technically, I'm still on track.  I did break my eyeliner the first week and picked up all the little pieces of lead out of the sink and shoved them back into the plastic tube.  I think I'll be resorting to black magic marker or crayon for eyeliner by the middle of September.  Of all things, eyeliner is something I need for my little beady eyes, but it's not a need so what do you do?  I have had some Coke, but I get them from my parent's house so I'm not buying them....another loop-hole.  By the way, I'm not only good at procrastination, but I'm also good at swindling Coke from my parents.  I'm glad to see that I have so many good qualities.  Oh me....I hope my kids take after their father ;)

Phase 2

I'm going to start by saying that I've totally DREADED phase 2 for awhile.  Let me begin by stressing the point that I LOVE TV.....almost as much as I love Coke.  I love the noise, the adult conversation, the ability to veg out and think about nothing for a while, The Biggest Loser and the Today Show.  The problem is....my oldest also LOVES TV.  So, as much as I love Coke and TV, I love my kiddos even more.  So, NO.MORE.CABLE.TV.  Sniff, sniff, I'm so sad right now :(  I have friends who allow their children to only watch TV on the weekends or just 30 min. a day, etc....but unfortunately, I don't have that much self-control.  I realize that once the TV is turned off, M1 goes all out on art projects, reading, playing, etc....so I'm just holding back her creativity by having the TV on.  Just think, if Benjamin Franklin had a TV, he wouldn't have been out playing with that kite and we still wouldn't have electricity ~hee, hee...if he had a TV then we wouldn't have electricity...get it?  Oh me, I've already lost my mind. 

We will use TV for some things in homeschooling this year.  Mostly, the Little House on the Prarie series.  I hope it will be a learning tool if used the right way, but right now it's just a bunch of junk we're watching.  So, Comcast is about to get a phone call.  I sure hope they can understand me through the tears.

Phase 1

I've been contemplating a lot lately how I can be more responsible.  Not a more responsible parent (my kids can have powdered donuts for breakfast and go out in winter without a hat ~ gasp!!), but just a more responsible person in general.  I guess the first thing was taking on the responsibility of homeschooling my children.  I spent many years and dollars learning how to educate children to the best of my ability (which is always a work in progress) so I've decided to be the primary educator for M1 this year.  Now to continue phase 1 of my becoming a responsible human being is to be a more responsible consumer.  I've been looking a lot lately at how we as a society work too much, buy too much and throw away too much.  I want to be more aware of what I spend my money on (as I look around my house at all the "stuff") and really see the difference between needs and wants.  Needs vs. wants is actually a 2nd grade state standard so I'm learning right alongside M1 for this one!  The first (and hardest part) is getting over the mentality that I need to have all the stuff as those around me.  It's hard to get my mind around the fact that I don't have to be in style (like I ever have been), I don't have to have curtains on every window, pretty pillows on every couch, or a showplace of a house for my friends.  You know, my friends come over to see ME....not my house, anyway.  So, to continue with phase 1 I'm attemping to not buy anything outside of a NEED for 3 months.  I will buy groceries and toiletries, but hopefully, that's all.  No haircuts (I'll do them at home), school supplies, shoes, clothes or anything else that's a want.  We SHOULD have everything we need for school and we have a library card for curriculum that we might not have.  The hardest thing for me will be not buying Coke.  I'm sure I can pitch a fit and be horrible to live with be strong and responsible about not drinking Coke.  So, to continue phase 1 until mid-October....and if you see me out somewhere....will you buy me a Coke?

Sseko sandals

Our family just returned for a nice, relaxing vacation at the lake and mountains.  I absolutely LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this time with my husband (the kids are great, too) to talk, dream and just discuss the world, our lives, etc.... This trip was filled with discussions about how to be less consumer minded, becoming a more simplified household, being more self-sutainable, etc...  Well, I've come across this company that helps women in Uganda develop skills, pay for their university, and allows for personal growth.  Doug and I have been discussing how we can buy less "stuff" that keeps those who make it impoverished, uneducated, and who use child labor.  This company is actually one who helps the ladies who work for them.  These ladies have a chance at a future that is usually impossible for a woman in a war-torn, male dominated country.  Please check out the Sseko sandals and buy a few pairs!

China update

China matched referrals for dates July 1-6, 2006.  I'm pretty excited about 6 days....each day gets us closer and closer to September 19th.  I was really hoping for 10 days again this month, but what do ya' do?  By looking at a 2006 calendar if I estimate that they complete a week of referrals each month, then we're 11 months away.  I know that last month I said 8 months to go but that was guessing they moved at a 10 day pace.  I'm back to reality estimating a 7 day pace.  Onto another subject (sort of) we're having our 2nd and last yard sale this weekend (Fri.&Sat).  I still had some stuff left from our first one & some folks have donated more goodies since then.  I'm ready to give Doug back his garage so this will be the end of the yard sale chapter in our fundraising life.  The Rosie Posie children's clothing sale I had a few weeks ago was a huge success.  I have a friend who developed this line of clothing several years ago and stopped production.  She let me have the leftover clothes to sell and we sold A LOT!  The great part was that I got 1/2 the profit of all the sales...it was all free money for me.  She was extrememely generous by letting me have this stuff to sell.  It's been amazing to me to see how my friends have come out and supported all of our fundraising efforts.  We have a few more fundraising ideas for the future but I'm ready to enjoy the rest of my summer without thinking of money for awhile!  Well, off to start pricing...hope to see you this weekend!

And your teacher is....

My girls will have a fabulous teacher this year....ME!  Of course M2 is such a wee little pumpkin that she'll not have a formal time of school this year (it will be here before I can blink though), but M1 will be homeschooled for 2nd grade.  As a former teacher, I always thought about homeschooling.  I wasn't sure if I would ever have the nerve to do it....but, I guess I do.  Homeschooling for us wasn't a solution to learning issues, protection for our girls, or an escape from the public school system.  Fortunately for us, M1 has had an amazing experience in public school so far.  For us, we just wanted to have more time with our children.  I have the ability and the education to teach my children, so why shouldn't I?  I can cover in 4 hours what it takes 7 hours to do in the school system.  I can teach from 8-12 each morning and spend the rest of the afternoon really LIVING with my girls.  We can do PE, art and music EVERY DAY!!   I'm super excited, but I sure hope they don't think their teacher is the meanest one ever!

Old Friends

I just "found" some old college friends on Facebook and let me tell you....I feel like I'm 20 again. We spent some time on Bourbon St. in New Orleans our last year in college (it was strictly professional....we were there for a conference ~ hee, hee!)  and somehow wound up with a purple feather boa.  I hadn't thought of that thing for 10 years until I was cleaning out some stuff for a yard sale and a tiny piece of purple feather came to the surface.  It was one of those laugh-out-loud moments where you can almost close your eyes and be back there again.  I had the best time in college....I learned so much about life (and I'm sure some scholarly things as well), myself, and how to become a productive member of society (wait a minute....I don't have a job....am I a productive member of society ~yikes)  Although FB can be a pretty nasty temptation to stray away from things that are "right" (time with family, obligations, healthy relationships, etc...) it's a wonderful place for me to see friends, old and new, and marvel at what wonderful people are in my life.  So, to all of my great friends, if we were on Bourbon St. again I would say "cheers" and enjoy one with you, but at this point in my life....I'll go put the kiddos down for a nap, make a glass of Kool-Aid, think about you, and SMILE ;)

Fundraiser #2

Just some of the cute stuff!

We are currently having our 2nd fundraiser for our adoption.  I have a fabulous friend who designed and created Rosie Posie children's clothing.  Several years ago she decided to stop production so she's letting me sell the items she still has in stock.  This was absolutely the most generous thing she could do for us....my portion is all profit for us to use for adoption expenses!  I also have fabulous friends who have told their friends about the sale,shopped, even one who is selling for me via her Facebook business page!  I am overwhelmed by the outpouring of support my friends and family are showing to help us bring our girl home.  The sale is still going on so you can contact me via email (theperrys876@comcast.net) to set up a time to come by.  Everything is only $8 so come check it out!!!

May Adoption Update

China matched referrals for dates June 21-30, 2006.  10 days is a LOT considering they were only doing 3 or 4 days a month for awhile.  I sure hope this trend keeps up and they continue to move this quickly!  IF, and I say IF very loosely, they keep this up, we could receive a referral as early as January 2012.  That is UNREAL to me :)  If this were a pregnancy in my womb, then I would probably be just taking a pregnancy test and getting a "+" result.  8 more months to go!

Fundraiser #1

We had our first "official" fundraiser this weekend.  Our neighborhood was having a yard sale so it seemed like the perfect time to get all of our "treasures" out to sell.  We had several families donate some of their things as well as friends stop by to shop (and donate)!  We were a little nervous about the weather so we managed to fit everything under our carport and in our garage.  Other than a few short...very short... showers the weather was perfect.  We know God was watching over us because we had several people stop by to say that in town (probably 2 or 3 miles away) it was raining so hard that they had to pull over off the road until it passed.  I'll soon post a picture of our "no named art project" to show you how quickly those squares are filling in. We've still got a garage of goodies if anyone needs any home decor, clothes or toys....I'll give you a good deal ;)

Sickness

We are in a season of sickness around here.  As absolutely frustrating as it is to have my babies sick, I have so much to be thankful for.  Don't get me wrong....I am SO NOT THANKFUL for the stomach bug, strep, fevers, ear infections....but I am so, so thankful for God placing me in a place where I can make one phone call, pull out one little plastic card and be in to see a doctor in a few short hours.  Whenever my girls are sick...you know the kind of sick where they are absolutely miserable with pain and burning with fever????  I always think "what if I lived in some mud hut in the middle of nowhere with no doctor around for hundreds of miles"?  I imagine that someone who actually lives in a mud hut in the middle of nowhere has a sick child at the same time.  Then I go to the doctor and they are left, alone, to do the best that they can.  As a mother, I-just-cannot-imagine!!!!  I try to tell M1 when she's sick that we are so lucky to have doctors and medicine and that her baby sister won't have this at the beginning.  It makes her really, really want to bring her sister home!  I hope one day Doug and I can go on a medical mission trip...actually, we hope to spend our retirement years in the mission field.  I hope I can just help ONE of those momma's who needs help for their sick baby!

May Update

The CCAA (well, it's not really called this anymore, but I can't remember the new title....bear with me) has matched referrals for LID's June 16-20, 2006. They only matched 5 days this month which is a little disappointing, but, they matched sooner than we were expecting, so that's exciting! Hopefully, they will make 8 more matches this year. Hopefully, they will make a match in Dec. before 2012. If that's the case, then we will DEFINITELY be in for 2012! They will hopefully make it through the rest of June and all of July by 2012. Then, we watch August tick away and then into September to the 19th!!!! We're working on some fundraising ideas to help with some of the costs that have recently gone up.  Unfortunately, waiting for 4 1/2 years has caused us to pay for many, many updates that we weren't expecting.  We've also decided to take M1 with us so we have extra travel costs.  We've decided that this will be a once in a lifetime trip and bonding experience for her so we couldn't pass it up!  As frustrating as this wait time is, we're so enjoying this time as a family of 4!

"no-named" fundraising art project

Thanks to the miracle of Facebook, I've stolen an idea from another adoptive family on a wonderful "no-named" fundraising art project.  They had some fantastic, creative name but I wanted to come up with a name on my own.  So far....nothing creative, nada, zilch, a big fat goose egg has popped into my brain.  Anyway, below you will see a 15x30 canvas.

We've divided the canvas into 1 inch squares.  For each family that does something to contribute financially to our adoption, we will paint a square.  We're letting each family choose their own color.  Once the paint is dry, we will write the family's name (or whatever they want) in the square.  Hopefully, the canvas will be a beautiful tapestry by the time we travel to China.  I can't wait to hang it over our daughters bed once we get home.  We've got some wonderful fundraising ideas stirring around in these non-creative heads of ours so hopefully we can soon start painting.  By our guess, if we estimate that each square is worth $20, then our canvas will be a $9,000 art project.  Unfortunately, that's significantly less than 1/2 of our remaining cost.  But, in the end, it will be such a huge blessing to us by helping decrease some of the financial burden.  This canvas will cover the cost of the orphanage fee we will owe in order to re-pay China for caring for our daughter.  In order to get a square right now, you can either donate $20 (or more if you are interested in more squares) or donate items for our upcoming yard sale.  By the way, if you can think of a great name for this thing I would be thrilled!

Are you serious???

I know that I have posted a lot in the past few months about money.  We are doing great about getting things paid off (car loans, student loans, credit card...) because my goal is to pay a mortgage each month and have NO OTHER debt.  Some people dream of vacations, new clothes,  or jewelry....I dream of no debt.  Boy, did my husband luck out or what????  With that being said, I'm totally bummed about the cost of adoption.  I know there are so many families interested in adoption, but the price just stops them cold in their tracks.  I KNOW that God will fund what he favors, but I have to admit that it's still VERY stressful for me.  We thought our TOTAL for adopting would be around $20,000.  We have paid thousands and thousands of dollars over the past 4 1/2 years as we continue down this path to China, but we recently found out that our remaining fees, travel, orphanage fee, program fees, etc....could still be $20,000.  Then, we found out yesterday that the post-placement reports went from having to complete 2, to having to complete 6.  This adds up to appox. $4,000 more.  The kicker is that you have to pay this when your $20,000 is due, not before, not after.  I'm super stressed about coming up with this extreme amount of money in a lump sum.  We're not sure about fundraising because we don't want to ask other people to pay for our child....when people give birth they don't ask others to pay their hospital bills.  We can afford to care for our daughter, to provide for her and give her the wants and needs she will have.  However, to come up with $24,000 in one lump sum is just HARD!  Please pray for us, to give us wisdom about what to sell in the near future, and to give me peace that it will work out.  He funds what he favors!  By the way, could I borrow 20 bucks?  :)

April Referrals

This just in from China....they have matched log in dates for June 10-15, 2006.  We have now officially made it under the 3 digit mark....meaning, they have to get through 95 more days until they get to us!  We're finally in the 2 digit numbers, woo-hoo!!!  IF, and I say that loosely, IF China keeps at a 6 or 7 day a month pace then we are looking at approximately 14 more months until it's OUR TURN!  I meet with our ADOPT Ministry at church once a quarter for our meeting.  I was calculating that I would only see them 4 more times before we get matched.  4 MORE TIMES!!!  Do you have any idea how REAL this is getting for me now?  I don't even realize how REAL this is getting!  I'm getting so excited that I can't even imagine how I'm going to feel this time next year.  My blog posts may be totally unlegible by then.  I'm not even sure that's a word...I don't care, I guess I'm already unlegible :)

We're getting there....

Well, one car is paid off as well as getting down to $0 credit card debt.  Student loans (graduate school) is going DOWN soon....it's next on my hit list.  We have also started planning our garden....o.k., who am I kidding???  My dad has this huge garden at his house that he sits and watches grow all summer while enjoying his rocking chair and cigar.  We are planning to mooch off of his garden, freeze and try to prepare mostly healthy, natural meals over the summer.  I really, really like vegetables, but sometimes I just get so tired of eating the same ones over and over again.  But, other than roasting, grilling, etc....the only other option I know is to put them in casseroles.  But those seem to always be full of processed stuff like cream of *****, cheese, butter, etc...  I need some ideas of things I can create with vegetables that my kids will eat.  I don't even know how to cook veggies like eggplant or brussel sprouts.
On another note....we just found out that once our adoption is complete, our post-placement reports went from having to do 2 total, to about 6 lasting until our child is 5 years old.  Once again, at a cost.  Good thing I'm going to be getting free food all summer, I'll need it to pay our social worker.  Hmmm....I wonder if she would trade her services for a bushel or two of brussel sprouts?

Spring Break Week of Awesomeness

I have been looking soooo forward to Spring Break this year.  After days and days of snow this winter I got in my head that I wanted to homeschool M1.  Not that the snow days made me crazy and I've officially lost my mind, but it just reinforced the idea that I wanted to be part of her education.  I have a Master's Degree in Early Childhood Education and I taught in the public school system for several years.  Well, I've started this post about Spring Break and now I've gotten onto my homeschooling soapbox.  Back to Spring Break....we had an awesome week with M1 home.  Doug wanted to take her to Chicago to the American Girl Doll store but we decided to head down to Atlanta and make it a family trip instead.  We started our Spring Break watching Doug complete a 1/2 marathon which is ridiculous because he can do 13 miles without even training!!!  We headed to the American Girl Doll store, she and Doug spent time with his parents for a day, we went roller skating, 4-wheeling, had picnics in the park and on our farm, playdates and sleepovers, S'mores in the driveway over our fire pit and the grand finale was finding a sickly calf on our farm to literally "nurse" back to health.  Well, we gave him a bottle of milk (specially formulated milk for baby calves) and hope for the best.  We've had so much fun!!  Back to the homeschooling issue...this week made me realize how much stuff we could do during the day if she were homeschooled.  My wheels are certainly turning :)

A Fresh Start!!!

I've had it....with myself.  Do you ever get to a point when you know you have to make a change?  Doug has been saying for quite a while....it's time for the cable to go, we need to get back to the basics, etc....  Well, this wife was saying, "no, not my cable.  You don't know what it's like to be home all day.  I really, really, REALLY like these modern conveniences."  Doug would be happy living in a log cabin w/ no running water or electricity (o.k., I'm being a little dramatic here) and growing our own food.  Well, today I decided that I'm ready to go for it.  Now, I'm not shutting off the electricity today, but we're going to start making some changes to get back to the basics.  I'm tired of just coasting through my day...I want to live each day with my children cherishing each day and making incredible memories with them.  I don't want my children knowing more about the Disney channel than about me.  I want my house to make memories more than making entertainment.  We're working hard to pay off student loans and credit card debt.  We don't have much on either one, but I'm ready to be DONE with it.  We have a farm so why aren't we growing our own food through cattle and gardening.  I'm not quite ready for the whole pig and chicken farmer bit, but we'll see what the future holds ;)  Alrighty world, wish us luck.  I'll blog about our changes but I'm warning you that it will probably be gradual, or our children just might move out.

February Referral update

The CCAA has done a batch of referrals just 2 WEEKS after their last batch of referrals.  I'm not sure that they have ever done this so close together.  I'm guessing it's because they were out for Chinese New Year and with Feb. being such a short month.  I really don't care the reason...just happy about it!  They did June 3-9, 2006.  Wow!  7 whole days.  I had calculated that if they did 7 days each month then we could receive our referral in 15 months.  I can't even stand to think about it....I'll go absolutely NUTS!  We've done our last update that we are eligible for under the grandfathered status.  I haven't gotten our fingerprint date back yet which is really good news.  Our update expired on Feb. 7th.  I mailed the renewal just a few days before....it just has to be in their office by Feb. 7th.  Then, the US gov't. sends us dates to get re-fingerprinted.  The fingerprint clearance goes back to the gov't. and they send us our updated I-171H form which will expire in 18 months.  Since it's taking a few weeks to get our fingerprint date we might be able to stretch this update out a few extra months.  It will expire 18 months from when we get our fingerprinting done and clearance gets back to the office.  I'm hoping to drag this process out as long as possible.  We really, really want to travel and get back before this update expires!!!!

The waiting, the waiting, the waiting....

We took M1 to see Shrek the Musical a few weeks ago.  There is a fabulous song by Fiona where she is locked in the tower waiting for her Prince to come.  In one line she's screaming ( a little "off her rocker"), "the waiting, the waiting, the waiting....." it makes me laugh because I feel like that sometimes.  There is LOTS and LOTS of speculation about adoptions in China.  The latest speculation is that China won't do more than 3 or 4 days a month now.  We've all been hoping they would speed up once Chinese New Year was over, but it doesn't look like that will be the case.  They are to June 2, 2006 and our LID (log in date) is Sept. 19, 2006.  I'm going to be generous and estimate China doing 7 days from now on....it will take them 15 more months to get to us.  15 months would be fabulous because it could POSSIBLY mean that we could travel and get home before our last update expires.  However, if we see that they only do 3 or 4 days a month that doubles our time to 30 months (2 1/2 more years).  Another speculation is that China might be phasing out of healthy adoptions and pushing their special needs route.  That makes sense with the sloooooow down of the healthy wait, but the quick adoptions of special need children.  At this point, we still want to be on the healthy list.  I had mentioned before about the possibility of adopting 2 children with one set of paperwork, one of those being special needs.  We've decided not to head in that direction.  We've decided to head down this road of healthy adoption as long as the doors are open!  I just wonder how much longer that will be.

School??

I can't believe what kind of winter we've had this year.  Doug told me awhile back that according to the Farmer's Almanac, it was supposed to be a snowy winter, with more snow in February.  I made fun of him because I didn't even know he had access to a Farmer's Almanac, let alone his sudden interest in weather prophecy.  Well, I guess I should eat my words now because it HAS been a snowy winter.  Thankfully, our school district has had enough snow days in the bank to cover us so far.  All of this being said, it has been such a blessing to us.  I've thought about homeschooling since M1 was in preschool.  I'm a certified teacher and taught school for several years before becoming a Mommy, so teaching is what I genuinely LOVE to do.  I didn't homeschool because I had just given birth to M2 and didn't want M1 to just be home caring for a baby all day.  I was afraid I wouldn't be able to give her the outside curriculum (co-op opportunities, group gatherings, field trips, etc...) that she needed.  Well, these snow days have given me the homeschool "bug" again.  We've been working on school-work these days and I LOVE it.  She is loving it as well!  More and more families seem to be joining the homeschool world so it's much easier to find a homeschool group to be part of.  There are still lots of decisions that need to be made, but I'm willing to take it a year at a time and see how it goes.  We'll see...

Gettin' down

If you read the title of this post and thought I was about to start dancing, then you are sadly mistaken.  I mean gettin' down like "I'm totally about to get into a depressed state and it ain't gonna' be pretty".  O.K., I really don't talk like that but I'm trying to talk myself into being funny, thus in a chippier mood.  Doug and I just turned in our ump-teenth update to our adoption paperwork.  We will do our updated fingerprinting soon and all of this should last for 18 more months.  The CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) made it 4 more days in January.  At this rate we are thinking it will be 28 MORE months of a wait for us, putting it at a grand total of .....(drum-roll please).....6 1/2-7 year wait.  That being said, we will eventually lose our grandfathered status (18 mo. from now) and have to continue our adoption through a process called Hague.  Long story short, it means more paperwork, classes, money, etc...  The cherry on top of my life right now was when I checked the updated cost scale for our adoption.  It looks as thought the reminder of our cost to complete the adoption is around $20,000.  Not the total....the REMAINDER of our cost.  I'm beginning to get a little overwhelmed at this whole process.  It was supposed to be a 12-15 month wait with $20K being the total cost.  Things are spiraling out of control on this process right now.  Please keep us in your prayers as we have some decisions to make before this is all completed.

Referral Update!

The CCAA sent out referrals for May 30-June 2, 2006.  4 days!  I really, really, really try to be patient with this process.  I'm actually a very patient person, however, things are beginning to get to me.  I just don't understand how things could go so slow!  If you could shout out some prayers for my sanity, it would be greatly appreciated!  By the way, I haven't posted much on submission/respect for my husband lately.  Not because I haven't been working on it....trust me, I'm a constant work in progress and will be until I take my last breath, but I've just been crazy busy lately.  Keep respecting those wonderful husbands!

Good Books

Two of the books that I'm reading right now (they fit together nicely so I can read them simultaneously) are Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl and Love and Respect by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs.  Love & Respect is a good one for husband and wife.  Doug and I actually did the bible study that goes w/ it last year at church.  I learned A LOT about what my husband needs from me.  Apparently, I was clueless :)  I'm still working on the unconditional respect here at my house.  Thankfully, Doug is a great guy so it makes it easier, but it's still HARD!!!

Love? your husband

Do you know that the Bible doesn't tell wives to "love" their husbands?  Titus 2:3-5 says, "older women...encourage the young women to love their husbands...being subject to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be dishonored".  However, the word love being used is phileo-brotherly love.  God doesn't tell us to love (eros) our husbands because it comes natural for us (women) to love.  He wired us that way.  Do you know what He does tell us to do?  Ephesians 5:33 "...let the wife see to it that she respect her husband."  UUgggghhhhh....loving him would be so much easier.  And there isn't a "but, if or unless" after it says to respect.  Do you mean that I have to respect him no matter how he acts?  Yes!!!  God tells us to respect our husbands because 1.  it doesn't come natural to us and 2.  it's the way he's wired to feel appreciated, loved, etc....  So, I'll give you some practical examples to try.  Don't discuss your husband in a negative way to anyone or in any public area....don't joke about his hair-loss or bulging mid-section.  Don't make any snide comments to him about his decision-making, habits, work-ethic, etc...  Make some sort of comment showing your respect like...."whatever you think is right, honey....I respect your decision."  You could also thank him for going to work for you each day...stick a note in his lunch, write it on the bathroom mirror or send him a "thank you" email.  Ex. "Thanks for going to work each day.  I respect your incredible work ethic.  You take great care of us."  God's Word says that we are to respect our husbands.  Give it a try this week and see what he thinks.  I'm going to!

Warning, warning!!!!

I'm giving you a fair warning right now....because our adoption is taking so long I'm going to spend the next few weeks/months posting scripture to encourage women/wives in the area of respect and submission to their husband.  If you don't want to hear it....then don't come back for awhile.  O.k., I've given you fair warning :)  I go to a Bible study lead by a wonderful, Godly woman who shares TRUTH from scripture and it's so exciting.  I hope to be a Proverbs 31 wife (please read Proverbs 31), even though it's hard...so hard.  I don't always want to listen to Doug.  Sometimes I want to live by the phrase, "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".  But reality is, I'm not the one in the home we should be making happy.  I will find joy and peace by being obedient to God and being under the authority of my husband.  I'm really going to try to work on this...I'll let you know how it goes.  If I don't blog again for 6 months then you'll know I failed miserably!

Home Study update

We had our 3rd update for our adoption today.  Our social worker is so sweet and great at her job.  God has placed her in this area and I'm so thankful we get to work with her.  She explained a new program to us (we had heard of it but didn't know the details) that allows you to adopt a child with special needs from China while you are waiting to adopt your healthy child without having to do extra paperwork.  Basically, you are allowed to adopt 2 children with 1 set of paperwork (which we already have completed).  We would have the option, because our referral is still 12-24 months away, to adopt the special needs child now, travel and come home.  Then we would be home a year or so (you have to be home 1 year) before our time to get our healthy referral.  Or, we could wait until closer to time for our healthy referral and apply for special needs and then only travel once to get both children.  You get to choose what sort of special needs you are willing to accept.  With Doug being a Physical Therapist we would choose something that was orthopaedically involved.  We're not even sure if this is God's plan for us, but our wheels certainly are turning.  It seems that everything seems to go back to finances in the world of adoption.  Could we afford 2 trips to China?  We would still have to pay fees in China for both children, but things would be 1/2 price (sounds tacky, I know) for the paperwork her in the US.  I know there are people out there that have a heart for adoption, but don't want to adopt themselves.  They would instead like to help others finance their adoptions.  I wish there was someway to get those people in touch with people who need the finances.  Although we always need money for our adoption, we are too proud (I guess that's the word for it) to just ask people to help us out.  We feel that God will provide the money if this is His plan.  It's a slippery slope.  We think that if we can't afford it, then we shouldn't do it.  But, the problem is, we can afford to CARE for these children easier than we can plop down $5,000-$10,000 at one time for something like travel or updates.  Hmmmmm, wonder what to do????

And life goes on....

Now that Christmas has come and gone, the presents have been wrapped and unwrapped, decorations put up and now taken down, it's time for life to get back to normal.  Normal for me is being home with a housefull of kiddos.  I have always wanted to have lots of children. (I even remember in elementary school telling a teacher that I wanted to adopt children from all over the world and have a world map-type rug on my living room floor so the children could all see where they came from.  Her response was, "your husband better be rich." Ha....I'm beginning to understand that now)  I have also always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.  Trouble is....sometimes it's not very fun.  Sometimes I envy my working friends as they get dressed, make-up on, and get to enjoy a day of being a grown-up...all day long!!!  Today is a VERY unusual day for me.  It's 3:15 and I'm still in my PJ's.  I usually dress every day, even if it's just sweatpants and a t-shirt.  Today, however, was a day of housecleaning which includes bleach.  I didn't want to ruin my fancy sweatpants by getting bleach spots on them so I stayed in my PJ's.  Who cares if they have bleach spots????  Anyway, my day has consisted of wiping noses, cleaning commodes, making breakfast and lunch, cleaning up breakfast and lunch, changing diapers, getting children dressed (obviously I didn't have to worry about dressing myself today) and cleaning up toy after toy after toy after toy.  Oh, wait a minute.  I get to hug my children anytime I want to, I get to rock them while they are sleeping, I get to make sure my kids eat their veggies on the lunch plate, I get to be the one that changes their diapers and wipes their runny noses.  Not to mention the relaxed dress code.  You know what???  My job rocks!  It may not always be fun, and the pay stinks ;) but I'll take in anyday!

In His Perfect Timing...

The adoption ministry at our church is called A.D.O.P.T. Ministry, which stands for ADoptions Of His Perfect Timing.  I can't tell you how much I have learned through adoption that His timing is and always will be PERFECT!!!  Adoption is an area where you can get so frustrated with things that you just want to pull your hair out and scream.  Why can't things move at our pace?  Because God's pace is the one that matters.  I'm learning that again right now.  I haven't shared this on my blog yet....but, back in the spring I found out that I was pregnant with our 3rd child.  At around week 10 I suffered a miscarriage.  My due date was to be December 31st.  Doug and I were very much at peace with the loss of this baby.  We knew it was God's plan.  We also felt that if this baby had never been created then he/she would never have the experience of heaven.  If God had never created him/her then they would simply not exist.  I would rather carry a child for 10 weeks and lose them to eternity in heaven.  What sweet peace we have!  Well, I spent Dec. 31st preparing for a child anyway.  Not the kind of preparation I would have been doing had this pregnancy lasted to term, but instead working on my paper pregnancy.  I've been writing letters, getting background checks, visiting Dr.'s, etc... Don't you think God knew what He was doing allowing our adoption renewal to be due now?  I've been spending the last several days preparing for our daughter in China to come home. Thank you God for the provisions You give us and that You always do things in Your perfect timing :)