Good Books

Two of the books that I'm reading right now (they fit together nicely so I can read them simultaneously) are Created to be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl and Love and Respect by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs.  Love & Respect is a good one for husband and wife.  Doug and I actually did the bible study that goes w/ it last year at church.  I learned A LOT about what my husband needs from me.  Apparently, I was clueless :)  I'm still working on the unconditional respect here at my house.  Thankfully, Doug is a great guy so it makes it easier, but it's still HARD!!!

Love? your husband

Do you know that the Bible doesn't tell wives to "love" their husbands?  Titus 2:3-5 says, "older women...encourage the young women to love their husbands...being subject to their own husbands, that the Word of God may not be dishonored".  However, the word love being used is phileo-brotherly love.  God doesn't tell us to love (eros) our husbands because it comes natural for us (women) to love.  He wired us that way.  Do you know what He does tell us to do?  Ephesians 5:33 "...let the wife see to it that she respect her husband."  UUgggghhhhh....loving him would be so much easier.  And there isn't a "but, if or unless" after it says to respect.  Do you mean that I have to respect him no matter how he acts?  Yes!!!  God tells us to respect our husbands because 1.  it doesn't come natural to us and 2.  it's the way he's wired to feel appreciated, loved, etc....  So, I'll give you some practical examples to try.  Don't discuss your husband in a negative way to anyone or in any public area....don't joke about his hair-loss or bulging mid-section.  Don't make any snide comments to him about his decision-making, habits, work-ethic, etc...  Make some sort of comment showing your respect like...."whatever you think is right, honey....I respect your decision."  You could also thank him for going to work for you each day...stick a note in his lunch, write it on the bathroom mirror or send him a "thank you" email.  Ex. "Thanks for going to work each day.  I respect your incredible work ethic.  You take great care of us."  God's Word says that we are to respect our husbands.  Give it a try this week and see what he thinks.  I'm going to!

Warning, warning!!!!

I'm giving you a fair warning right now....because our adoption is taking so long I'm going to spend the next few weeks/months posting scripture to encourage women/wives in the area of respect and submission to their husband.  If you don't want to hear it....then don't come back for awhile.  O.k., I've given you fair warning :)  I go to a Bible study lead by a wonderful, Godly woman who shares TRUTH from scripture and it's so exciting.  I hope to be a Proverbs 31 wife (please read Proverbs 31), even though it's hard...so hard.  I don't always want to listen to Doug.  Sometimes I want to live by the phrase, "if momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy".  But reality is, I'm not the one in the home we should be making happy.  I will find joy and peace by being obedient to God and being under the authority of my husband.  I'm really going to try to work on this...I'll let you know how it goes.  If I don't blog again for 6 months then you'll know I failed miserably!

Home Study update

We had our 3rd update for our adoption today.  Our social worker is so sweet and great at her job.  God has placed her in this area and I'm so thankful we get to work with her.  She explained a new program to us (we had heard of it but didn't know the details) that allows you to adopt a child with special needs from China while you are waiting to adopt your healthy child without having to do extra paperwork.  Basically, you are allowed to adopt 2 children with 1 set of paperwork (which we already have completed).  We would have the option, because our referral is still 12-24 months away, to adopt the special needs child now, travel and come home.  Then we would be home a year or so (you have to be home 1 year) before our time to get our healthy referral.  Or, we could wait until closer to time for our healthy referral and apply for special needs and then only travel once to get both children.  You get to choose what sort of special needs you are willing to accept.  With Doug being a Physical Therapist we would choose something that was orthopaedically involved.  We're not even sure if this is God's plan for us, but our wheels certainly are turning.  It seems that everything seems to go back to finances in the world of adoption.  Could we afford 2 trips to China?  We would still have to pay fees in China for both children, but things would be 1/2 price (sounds tacky, I know) for the paperwork her in the US.  I know there are people out there that have a heart for adoption, but don't want to adopt themselves.  They would instead like to help others finance their adoptions.  I wish there was someway to get those people in touch with people who need the finances.  Although we always need money for our adoption, we are too proud (I guess that's the word for it) to just ask people to help us out.  We feel that God will provide the money if this is His plan.  It's a slippery slope.  We think that if we can't afford it, then we shouldn't do it.  But, the problem is, we can afford to CARE for these children easier than we can plop down $5,000-$10,000 at one time for something like travel or updates.  Hmmmmm, wonder what to do????

And life goes on....

Now that Christmas has come and gone, the presents have been wrapped and unwrapped, decorations put up and now taken down, it's time for life to get back to normal.  Normal for me is being home with a housefull of kiddos.  I have always wanted to have lots of children. (I even remember in elementary school telling a teacher that I wanted to adopt children from all over the world and have a world map-type rug on my living room floor so the children could all see where they came from.  Her response was, "your husband better be rich." Ha....I'm beginning to understand that now)  I have also always wanted to be a stay-at-home mom.  Trouble is....sometimes it's not very fun.  Sometimes I envy my working friends as they get dressed, make-up on, and get to enjoy a day of being a grown-up...all day long!!!  Today is a VERY unusual day for me.  It's 3:15 and I'm still in my PJ's.  I usually dress every day, even if it's just sweatpants and a t-shirt.  Today, however, was a day of housecleaning which includes bleach.  I didn't want to ruin my fancy sweatpants by getting bleach spots on them so I stayed in my PJ's.  Who cares if they have bleach spots????  Anyway, my day has consisted of wiping noses, cleaning commodes, making breakfast and lunch, cleaning up breakfast and lunch, changing diapers, getting children dressed (obviously I didn't have to worry about dressing myself today) and cleaning up toy after toy after toy after toy.  Oh, wait a minute.  I get to hug my children anytime I want to, I get to rock them while they are sleeping, I get to make sure my kids eat their veggies on the lunch plate, I get to be the one that changes their diapers and wipes their runny noses.  Not to mention the relaxed dress code.  You know what???  My job rocks!  It may not always be fun, and the pay stinks ;) but I'll take in anyday!

In His Perfect Timing...

The adoption ministry at our church is called A.D.O.P.T. Ministry, which stands for ADoptions Of His Perfect Timing.  I can't tell you how much I have learned through adoption that His timing is and always will be PERFECT!!!  Adoption is an area where you can get so frustrated with things that you just want to pull your hair out and scream.  Why can't things move at our pace?  Because God's pace is the one that matters.  I'm learning that again right now.  I haven't shared this on my blog yet....but, back in the spring I found out that I was pregnant with our 3rd child.  At around week 10 I suffered a miscarriage.  My due date was to be December 31st.  Doug and I were very much at peace with the loss of this baby.  We knew it was God's plan.  We also felt that if this baby had never been created then he/she would never have the experience of heaven.  If God had never created him/her then they would simply not exist.  I would rather carry a child for 10 weeks and lose them to eternity in heaven.  What sweet peace we have!  Well, I spent Dec. 31st preparing for a child anyway.  Not the kind of preparation I would have been doing had this pregnancy lasted to term, but instead working on my paper pregnancy.  I've been writing letters, getting background checks, visiting Dr.'s, etc... Don't you think God knew what He was doing allowing our adoption renewal to be due now?  I've been spending the last several days preparing for our daughter in China to come home. Thank you God for the provisions You give us and that You always do things in Your perfect timing :)