How the time goes...

Just to let you know how things are flowing on the adoption front.  The China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) sends out referrals (the matching of families & children) once a month.  Once they have sent them out for the month you know nothing else will happen for the rest of the month.   Our log in date (LID) is September 2006.
~In Dec. 2009 referrals were matched for LID: April 1-3, 2006
*none were sent in Jan. because it was LATE Dec. before they matched any in Dec.
~Feb. 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 4-5, 2006
~March 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 6-11, 2006
~April 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 12-17, 2006
~May 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 18-21, 2006
~June 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 22-26, 2006

As you can see, it's taken from Dec.2009-June 2010 (7 months) to not even get through ONE MONTH of  log in dates.  Our LID being September means who knows how much longer this could take.  I wanted to post this to show you how things work and see how slowly things are moving.  Many of you have asked "how much longer"...I hope this shows you that we really don't know.  You never know if they will match 2 days next month or a week, or possibly even more?????  We're expecting to wait 2 1/2 more years.  I'll post again to explain our problem with a 2 1/2 year wait from now.  Stay tuned!!

More adoption story

Our paperwork (dossier) arrived in China in August of 2006 where the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) checks everything to make sure we sent everything and then in September of 2006 we were OFFICIALLY logged in.  That basically means we got on a very, very long list.  Everything is done in chronological order by your log in date (LID) so it's a very important day.  Really, once everything gets to China, the only thing left to do is wait!  We went on about our everyday business, prayed for our daughter in China, her birthmother and for ourselves to be patient.  M1 (our firstborn) was growing up, we hosted a Chinese exchange student for a semester so we could learn more about the culture, Doug switched jobs and I was babysitting everyday for 2 sweet girls.  Life was sweet!  In China, due to the extreme overpopulation, there is a "One Child Policy" which basically means that each family is only allowed to have one child.  Due to the culture and lack of government retirement plans, most families want to have a boy.  Once a daughter gets married she is considered property of her husband's family thus no longer able to care for her own parents as well.  However, a son will continue to care for his parents financially as well as bring in a daughter-in-law to help care for them.  Also, in the more rural areas a boy is a better help on the farm.  Most of these practices are in the rural areas where everything is more "old school".  Because of this, many, many baby girls are not wanted.  If a family has a girl, they might want to "get rid of her" secretly so they can try again for their "one child=boy"  Thankfully, many of these mothers take care of themselves (not much drug/alcohol abuse) hoping for a boy and the child is given life instead of aborted (or the mother's don't have access to ultrasound).  Also in China it's against the law to abandon your child or place for adoption so these families must secretly abandon the child as to not be in trouble.  Many of the girls are wrapped up in blankets and placed in a public area such as a market or dropped off secretly on the steps of an orphanage.  I know most of this sounds horrible.  At first I thought so as well.  Please keep in mind that the government was trying to cut back on the extreme overcrowding (not that I agree with their Communist government), their culture is very proud and having a boy for most families is the life or death of the family.  I'm sure most birthmothers who have a girl DO NOT want to choose abandonment (as a mother myself, I just cannot imagine....) but they are at the mercy of their husbands and his family and again, the culture of a NEEDING  a boy might be too great.  I envision my daugter's birthmother kissing her little face over and over and over before wrapping her in a blanket and placing her somewhere to be found...then walking away.  Then hiding somewhere to watch and make sure she's o.k. and picked up by someone responsible.  What if the baby cries before she's picked up....I just can't imagine how the birthmother's heart must just break.  Please pray for the many, many families who must make this horrible decision on a daily basis.  China has now changed their policy to allow for 2 children, unless the first is a boy, which would mean you are done.  However, now the second girl is facing the same fate of abandonment so they can try again for a boy.  It's a horrible situation.  I won't even get into the families who choose death for their daughter instead of adoption.  It can get very cruel.  China has a very good system of adoption and years ago, the wait time was about 9 months.  Because of that TONS AND TONS of people chose to adopt from China (us included) which caused the list of families to get "crazy long".   That's where the problem is...we are in line in a very, very long list.  I'm hoping our daughter hasn't even been born yet.  Please be praying for her, for her birthmother, for her birth family...they have some difficult days ahead of them.   Please pray for our daughter to get good care in the orphanage while she waits for us to come get  her.  I'll write again soon to let you know how close we are.

Adoption Journey, cont.

Once we realized that we had been called to adopt we researched several agencies and countries and settled on adopting from China and using the agency, America World Adoption Association (AWAA).  Thus began the long process of collecting paperwork, meetings and funding.  When you are pursuing an adoption there is so much to be done.  You have to collect paperwork such as birth certificates, marriage certificates, fingerprinting, background check (local & federal), financial records, etc...  Then each of these things must be notarized by a local notary, then authenticated by the county clerk, certified by the Secretary of State, then sent to the federal government for signatures by the U.S. Secretary of State.  Just getting everything signed takes weeks!!  I'm not even going to start talking about the money that is required for each step...except to say that most of the money at the beginning goes to pay someone for a service they are providing (social workers for meetings & home studies, clerks, couriers, doctor visits, FedEx, etc...).  Before we even had our name on the list in China to adopt we had spend $9,274.49...but who's counting! The longest part of the paperwork (also called a dossier, pronounced da-see-ay) is waiting for your approval from our government to be allowed to bring a child into our country.  Waiting for your approval can take up to 3 months.  All of this work is affectionately called your "paper pregnancy" and it's full of labor pains :)  When we sent our dossier off to China the wait time was 13-14 months.  I was keeping a journal of everything we were doing about the adoption and it's funny now to go back and read from Jan. 2007 when I was bummed the wait time had been increased to 15 months.  I was thinking we would get our referral (the paperwork from China that has the picture, medical, etc... about your child for you to accept) by Christmas of 2007.  Just to get you up to speed...in Sept. 2010 we will have been waiting for 4 years and the wait time now is 50-51 months with the wait time increasing by a month each month.  I realize this post seems like I'm complaining about having to wait so long, pay so much, etc...but I really don't mean for it to.  We know God has a plan for us, a child for us, and the money to provide for us to complete this adoption in His time.  Many people have asked about our "adoption story" so I want to be as realistic as possible when I write this.  China is the only country at this time with a wait lasting years and years.  If you are interested in adoption, please don't let this discourage you.  I probably wouldn't recommend adopting from China if you are interested in a short wait time, but there are many other places to research.  I'll write again letting you know what's happened since mailing our paperwork off!

How it all began...

Back in January of 2005 I was providing childcare in my home to a precious, precious child.  Her baby dedication was being held at a local church and our family was invited to be there.  We had been attending a small church but was looking for a larger church in the area to join.  We had spent several weeks visiting other churches but hadn't found THE one for us yet.  After attending this baby dedication we decided to go back and visit this church again.  The second Sunday we visited was the Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.  As we sat there in the sanctuary and saw the many, many families go forward who had been blessed by adoption, we were touched.  Not touched in the sense of "awww, that's sweet", "I'm going to cry", etc... but touched by God saying "this is what you are to do for Me."  Before we could get back to the car (and we were parked CLOSE in the visitor parking), we were looking at each other and saying, "we should adopt".  We went home and began researching agencies, countries, cost, etc...  We already had one child who was not quite 2 at the time and were looking to soon expand our family anyway.  So, our journey began...

Trying again...

I tried to work on my blog and totally ruined it.  For those of you who have been following our blog and our adoption, please be patient as I try to repost our adoption journey and the log in dates from China.  When I get a few spare minutes (yeah, right....) I'll try to get everything back on here.  Don't worry, I'll be back!