Wordless Wednesday

Wow! He is SO GOOD!!

If you read my blog last week or so I had a post called complaint vs. thankfulness where I was trying not to complain about the timing of our adoption renewal.  Not that I don't want to renew, but we have had to pay for lots and lots of extra repairs lately and it's been pretty intense.  Since then, we've had one vehicle in the shop....TWICE!  The hits just seemed like they were going to keep coming.  Well, I have WONDERFUL NEWS.  I have read stories like this, but it's never happened to me...until now.  In order to protect privacy for all those involved, I will be vague with the details.  Basically, there is an individual who usually sends a gift our way for Christmas.  This person doesn't know anything about our financial affairs or this blog.  This is the only public place I have mentioned our renewal process and the financial burden it is causing.  They do know we are adopting, but seriously have no idea about anything else.  Well, they sent us a check yesterday that covers EVERY PENNY of our renewal process.  Aaaahhhhhhhh....I'm giddy as I type this.  I just can't believe it!  Well, I CAN believe it because God will pay for what He pleases :)  We have always tried to use this adoption process for His glory so I wanted to make sure I posted this.  There are SO MANY ways in which God has revealed Himself to us through this adoption.  I want to make sure you see the ways also.  I can't wait to let this person know what a miracle they gave us this Christmas :)

Wordless Wednesday

I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!!

I enjoy so many things about the Christmas season, but this year I have a new favorite.  I have a few nativity scenes around the house (if I were to start a collection of anything, this would be it) and M2 has been so interested in them.  She's not quite 2 yet so she doesn't even have a recollection of last year's Christmas.  We have been doing our daily devotions leading up to Christmas morning and of course they all reflect the Good News of the season.  She's been all about baby Jesus for weeks now.  It makes my heart so happy.  She picks Him up from the scene, carries Him around, rocks Him and talks about His mom and dad.  I know she's a baby person, but it still makes me happy that she's learning what the Christmas season is about.  How things may change once she starts tearing into those presents :)  I'm realistic so I'm going to enjoy this time while I can.  M1 has been in the Christmas spirit BIG TIME this year as well.  She had 1/2 the ornaments on the tree before Doug and I could get everything unloaded from the attic.  She's been working on learning the books of the Bible and has the Old Testament memorized now.  I love seeing my girls grow in their love of the Lord, but so many times I feel like such a failure in the area of Biblical teaching for my children.  It's so important and I feel like I drop the ball so often.  One day at a time, one day at a time, right????

Complaint vs. Thankfulness

I had every intention this morning of sitting down to my blog and complaining.  Complaining about money...or the lack of.  It's that time in our adoption again when things must be renewed.  Expensive things.  We just had to re-do the flooring in our kitchen, new refrigerator and dishwasher and as I write this I have the house heated by gas logs and an oil heater because our heating unit is on the fritz.  Someone will be here today to fix the unit and charge me who knows how much.  But, you know what?  I live in a house where I can open up my brand new refrigerator and get fresh, healthy food out for my family.  I live in a house where the floor is solid and keeps the elements out.  I live in a home where I can wash all of my dishes in a hygenic way with just the push of a button and I live in a house where I still have the luxury of gas logs and electricity for an oil heater to heat my family.  And most importantly, the hundreds and hundreds of dollars that I'm about to spend on more paperwork, will not amount to a hill of beans when they hand me that little girl for the first time.  Do you think I'll be thinking, "Boy, on Dec. 17, 2010 I was feeling like I didn't want to do this anymore...the process to find you was just getting to be too much.  Too much time, energy and money."  I doubt it.  I think I'll be thinking, "Oh Lord, thank you for every step it took to get to this moment.  I would do it again 1,000 times."  So today I'm choosing thankfulness over complaining because I truly have SO MUCH to be thankful for.

Love my sometimes, heavily populated house!

Today was one of those days when a few minutes of quiet was hard to find.  As many of you reading this know, I babysit a child during the day.  Having two girls of my own, she adds another wonderful gift of excitement to the Perry house.  I have also recently begun picking up another child after kindergarten pick-up at school and bringing her home with us for a few hours.  I babysat her from 6 weeks-3 years so she's just another member of the family.  Well, today I had one more addition.  My 18 year old cousin is the older brother of the one I babysit daily.  Trying to explain the family tree here would be confusing so just roll with it....anyway, he had a propane accident yesterday at work and got frostbite on his hands/fingers.  Propane is stored somewhere around -98 degrees and it leaked onto his hands.  His fingers have such huge blisters on them that with the gauze and wrapping, he can't feed, dress or care for himself.  I had the wonderful privilege of being his caretaker today.  I used to babysit him as a little tyke so it was kind of fun to care for him again.  This afternoon I had 5 people to care for...it was loud and busy and FUN and WONDERFUL!!!  Sometimes I think I should have a house full of kiddos.  We'll see ;)  Keep my cousin in your prayers that he won't get any infection or long-term affects from the frostbite.  He sees a burn specialist tomorrow to see what happens next.  I would post a picture but it's pretty gross!

Celebrating Christmas

M1's first Christmas was what I had always dreamed when celebrating as a parent for the first time.  She had her picture made with Santa after a long line at the mall.  We had wrapped up a precious little baby doll, Radio Flyer rocking horse and other little odds and ends.  We woke her up at the crack of dawn to carry her in by the Christmas tree...flashes from the camera blinding all of us.  It was fabulous.  Then, in the weeks before Christmas #2, as all the Christmas preparation was beginning I started noticing how many people stopped to talk to her about Christmas (I guess because people realized that this year she would understand a little better what she was about to "experience").  But, do you know what people were saying to her?  "Are you ready for Santa?"  After, seriously, the 75th person or so, I realized that we had TOTALLY missed the mark.  We had spent so much time focusing on the materialism and "magic" of Christmas that we totally forgot the REASON for Christmas.  Was this what we wanted to teach our children?  Absolutely not.  Christmas #2 we celebrated, not with a man in a red suit, but with a birthday party (something she understood) for our Savior, Jesus Christ.  I know that other, wonderful, Christian families are able to do both.  We decided to simply focus on the birth of Jesus.  It boiled down to...what does the Bible teach us about this occasion?  Well, all I saw was a celebration of His birth.  So, we're keeping it at that.  I was worried about all the what if's??? What if she feels "slighted", what if she thinks she was naughty so Santa didn't come, what if she tells the other kids at school???  We've crossed all those bridges and you know what....she doesn't feel "slighted" at all.  She still gets the gifts on her list.  They just come from Mom and Dad, who love her very much and want her to have wonderful things.  She doesn't mention Santa coming to our house because she knows that some families celebrate with Santa but we celebrate with a party for Jesus...she's never considered that he's real, but knows for sure that Jesus is :)  She hasn't mentioned anything at school because we told her that some families celebrate with Santa so he's real to them....end of story.  I just wanted to share this post because I know many of my friends are "on the fence" about celebrating with or without Santa.  We read Scripture together as a family for each day in December leading up to Christmas preparing our heart to accept this wonderful gift.  We bake cupcakes to celebrate on Christmas day, and this year we're going to make a "manger" on Christmas Eve and on Christmas morning we'll have a baby in the manger to show M2 an example of the new baby.  I'm always looking for new traditions to add if anyone has any ideas for us.  Please feel free to comment.  Merry Christmas to everyone and remember "the Word became flesh".  -John 1:14

Wordless Wednesday

Will she be lucky????

I just read an excerpt from a recent Psychology Today article about adults who were adopted and different aspects of how they feel/felt about it.  One thing that stood out to me was how these children felt when people would say they were lucky.  In their mind they thought, "was I lucky to have lost my biological mother and father, any biological siblings, my birth country...I've lived two separate lives already at my young age.  I was brought to a country I don't know with people who don't look like anyone I've ever seen before...is that lucky??"  However, I do understand that people are only saying they were lucky because they are thinking of the alternative...living the rest of their childhood in an orphanage.  I think I'll refrain from ever telling an adopted child that they are lucky...I'll be the lucky one to have my daughter finally home with us :)

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

November Adoption Update

The CCAA has matched families with LID's (log in dates) of May 19-23, 2006.  Two of those days were weekend so it really only affects 3 days of LID's.  I think everyone was a little disappointed in the small batch matched this month.  I think most everyone was hoping for a "biggie".  So far the CCAA has only matched 50 days of LID's for 2010.  That's actually pretty good considering last year they only matched about 30 days total.  Ideally, the CCAA would match 365 days each year to keep up, but no such luck.  If you think about 50 days a year then they aren't even getting through 2 whole months each year.  It's such a snail's pace.  Will Sept. 19, 2006 ever get here???  Just for fun I went to Google map and typed in directions from my hometown to Guazhou, China where we will have some appts. when we arrive in China.  Direction #46 said,

Kayak across the Pacific Ocean

3,879 mi

So funny!!!  Thanks to all of you thinking and praying for us during this wonderful journey!

I love fall!

I absolutely love fall.  There's something special about fall, Saturday mornings when there is a crisp in the air, the excitement of football and just something calming about all of it.  We had a bonfire/hayride with our Sunday School class this weekend and the girls got to enjoy some hayride time before the crowd arrived.

This is just a glimpse of a great Fall day for our family.  It doesn't get much better :)

Fall Break

My little hiker...she looks like she should be a "through-hiker" on the AT.

A bear had clawed this tree until it fell over.  I just hope no one was at the top!

We had a chance to take a mini-vacay to the mountains for Fall Break.  On the last day, Doug and M1 went backpacking into the mountains for an "overnighter" while the babies and I headed back home.  M1 has been backpacking since she was able to walk.  Unfortunately, M2 is 19 months old and still not walking, yes 19 months old and still not walking, so she wasn't able to make this hike.  We weren't going to carry her the 6 miles round-trip they were doing ;)  We stayed in our camper in a KOA the first 3 nights so we weren't "roughing it" too much.  It was a much needed vacation for all of us and the kids literally spent every waking moment outside.  Today, it's back to the real-world as Doug and M1 head back to work and school.  I guess every good vacation must soon come to an end :(

A little bit of everything...

The CCAA has sent referrals out for May 16, 17 and 18th, 2006.  They didn't send any referrals out for the month of September, or was that for September?  We're really not sure.  I guess we'll have to wait and see if anything happens in October or if the next batch arrive in November.  I'm just going to go with the thought that the CCAA did 3 days in 2 months.  Do you see how slow things are?  September marked our 4 year anniversary of waiting on our daughter in China.  Let me clarify, there is NOT a specific child in China waiting for us.  Once they get to our name on the list, they match us with a child, send us a picture/medical info., and we travel.  Some people worry that our daughter is getting older in an institution in China.  We are hoping that she hasn't even been born yet.  We already pray for the time her birth family must abandon her in China.
We just got home from our Fall Break trip to the mountains.  We took another baby with us...15 month old and it was COLD!!!  It was quite a trip but everyone had so much fun!  We did realize that our camper is too small for our family, especially after our addition from China.  We're going to make it work as long as possible because we would rather pay for our adoption, not a new camper :)
Last, I have a friend who is hurting, hurting, hurting right now.  I'm so angry about some things that have caused her this hurt, sad for things that have caused this hurt, trying to pray and just give it all to God.  It's so much easier to talk about the trust and faith than to really try to live them.  It's been a good lesson for me.  I'm learning to really take my friends to the foot of the cross and let God have it.  It's all His anyway!

Pain!

I'm just feeling very burdened right now.  I have some people in my life that are in the deepest, darkest place they have ever been.  The best/worst part of having close friends is feeling their pain when they are LOW!!!  I have been on my knees praying for my friends and knowing there is nothing else I can do is hard.  Women want to "fix" things and sometimes there are things you just can't "fix".  It stinks.  Please check the Amazima button on the side of my blog, then go to the section that says blog once you get to Amazima.  Katie is a remarkable woman who deals with indescribable pain all the time in Africa.  I wish there was more I could physically do for those around me.  I know I need to trust God that He can do a better job than me anyway :)

Sept. update

It's the 22nd day of September and nothing has been mailed out from China yet to let agencies know what referrals were matched this month.  It looks like September will be a big, fat goose egg!!  I guess we'll have to wait for October to see what families will be matched with their children.  Bummer!!  The CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs) is here in the States meeting with agencies so that's probably why they haven't done referrals this month...there probably isn't anyone in the office in China.  The CCAA is meeting with agencies to go over things face-to-face.  I've "heard" that they want to receive post-placement reports until the child is 14 years old.  Of course, that would be at the cost of the adoptive family.  I'm totally fine with that, especially after hearing about the recent treatment of two adopted children here in TN.  One being put on a plane and sent back to Russia, the other beaten to death by her parent.  I think there should be more face-to-face meetings with the social worker and families once the child is home.  I'm sure it's hard for a social worker to determine a sleep-deprived parent who is doing well with their child, and a sleep-deprived parent who seriously needs some intervention, over a telephone interview.  The social workers have so much on their plate already that I know asking them to do personal visits until the child is 14 is nearly impossible.  So many people think that the adoption is "over" once the child is home, but in reality it's a long and difficult road for some children.  I hope these families will be willing to seek good, Christian counseling.  I know we will be so excited when we travel to China and bring our daughter home, but sometimes I have to make myself think of it from her point of view.  I try to imagine M2 who is 18 months old being picked up by a stranger and taken 1/2 way around the world to a culture she doesn't know, a language she doesn't understand, and faces she doesn't recognize.  How traumatic it must be for the child who has already been abandoned and institutionalized for most of their life.  I pray for love and patience for our family as we first come home with her because I know it won't be easy. 

Kitchen Drama!

Well, our kitchen is a disaster area right now.  Our refrigerator is at least 20 years old...I bought this house from my best friend's dad who left this refrigerator for us.  I ate "many a" pizza pocket out of this refrigerator when I was at least a Sophomore in high school so we knew it didn't have many miles left on it.  Anyway, we knew we were going to put tile in the kitchen once the refrig. died.  A few months ago we realized that the kitchen floor was starting to "bubble" and realized the refrigerator had been slowly leaking for awhile.  Then the garbage compactor stopped working, then the dishwasher stopped working, the light under the microwave burned out, etc.... We used industrial fans for 3 days to dry the sub floor...it sounded like a jet plane was landing in the house :)   Long story short-we had to rip the entire kitchen floor up.  It was layers of linoleum that had to be scraped off in little pieces...ughhh!  Then the refrigerator stopped working all together so everything had to be thrown away.  We have been living without a refrig. for a week now and it's not fun!!!  We have to finish the floor before we go get another so hopefully this weekend will be the END of the construction.  I think I've learned my lesson about letting repairs go for a few weeks!  We also ripped the carpet and wallpaper out of the sun room, re-painted and laid tile.  Also during this, M1 got sick and was out of  school for a few days.  They say, "when it rains, it pours".  Well, it's pouring at the Perry house right now.   The blessing is that we at least have a house that needs repairs and the money to pay for all of them. 

I'm still here...

I just realized today that it's been a month since my last post.  I really wish I had exciting, thought-provoking things happen on a regular basis so I could blog about them, but that's not my reality.  I'm back to work, which I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE and really enjoy teaching on Tue. and Thur. with my little one in my class.  I just wasn't ready for her to go away for two days a week.  The 5 years home with my girls goes by too fast...I don't want to lose any time with them.  I am so fortunate to be able to stay home and I don't want to waste that gift.  I was ready to be out of the house (other adult conversation) so I thought teaching at Parent's Day Out would be a good mix of the two as long as M2 could be in my class.  It's worked perfectly so far.  Of course, guess who is the only child in the class who doesn't nap??? Yep, my own child.  Why are they such stinkers for their parents?  It does give me a good excuse to sit in the rocking chair and rock her for awhile.  It's a nice quiet time for the two of us...for about 10 minutes until someone else starts crying and I have to jump up to pat someone back to sleep before they wake everyone else up :)  9 toddlers, that's my reality right now.  I couldn't ask to be in a better place :) 

August Referrals

August referrals aren't officially in, but I've gotten some pretty legitimate info. that says this month the CCAA sent out referrals from May 11-15, 2006.  It's only 5 days so I'm a little bummed, but there are many families getting to see the picture of their child for the first time this week so I'm excited for them.  I've also "heard" that next month will probably just be 2 or 3 days because there are TONS of people logged in on those days.  I knew when they did 14 days last month and I got myself psyched up that it was going to be 14 days or more every month that I was going to be disappointed!  I know our turn will come when it's supposed to...I just get impatient sometimes.

Back to work!

Well, I haven't worked outside the home in over 6 years and now I'm back to work.  Well, at least "sort of".  I'll be teaching at Parent's Day Out two days a week, taking my two babies along with me.  O.k., I only have one baby small enough for Parent's Day Out but I also babysit another child (13 mo. old) full-time.  I'll be taking both of my babies with me in my class along with 6 other toddlers.  I am soooo excited.  I guess it's the teacher in me...being totally pumped about lesson plans, group time, music and art lessons.  M. has also gotten back into the routine of school.  She is at a new school this year because of our move and LOVES it so far.  Her teacher is fabulous and has been teaching school for 25 years.  I'm excited about this school year and knowing each day brings us closer to our adoption being completed and our daughter being HOME!

Amazima_Final

Please check out this video.  We support Amazima through buying beads from these women as well as sponsoring a child in the Amazima program (that's what I asked for in lieu of gifts this Christmas).  Would you consider being part of this as well?  Katie is a 21 year old who left the comfort of suburban Nashville to move to Uganda and make a difference.  Visit the button on the side of my blog page to see Amazima (means truth).

Getting my hopes up!

I know I shouldn't do this to myself...but here it goes:  Things were moving soooo slowly in China I told myself that it would be almost 2 1/2 more years until we received a referral.  They were only doing about 2-5 days per month, which meant it was literally taking 6-8 months to cover an entire month.  (It took 8 months to complete the month of April.)  Well, in July they completed 14 days.  They finished April and made it to May 10th.  Are you kidding me???  They are already 10 days into May???  O.K., could that mean if they keep going this fast that we could receive a referral in 10 months?  That would be next spring, allowing us to travel during the summer when M. would be out for summer break.  Next summer!!!  I'm sooo getting my hopes up I know.  Who knows what will happen in the next few months, but I'm HOPEFUL!

July Pot-Luck

Every July our ADOPT Ministry has a family pot-luck.  Every year we have families with new additions through the blessing of adoption.  This year is no different.  At least two families will be coming who have adopted domestically since last summer.  I can remember seeing the ultrasound this time last year of a friend who was blessed to be at the birth of their son.  The birth mother allowed them to be part of Dr. visits before the birth as well.  The other family just recently adopted.  Their son was born on July 7th and they are hoping to pop-in for a visit.  We also have families who have adopted internationally and hopefully this time next year we'll at least have a referral for our daughter.  I doubt we'll have been to China and back but it will happen eventually!  Looking forward to tomorrow's picnic and seeing all those wonderful families!

July Referrals

Wow!  I was so surprised by how many days the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs) covered this month.  Referrals were matched with LID's (log in dates) of April 27-May 10, 2006.  That's 14 days.... woo-hoo!!  I am pumped up!  It has taken 7 months to get through 20-something days and then this month they do 14!  We keep getting closer and closer.  I just hope things stay at this rate and don't slow down again. Please keep praying for our little one in China and her birth family.  I know this won't be an easy decision for them, but she will be coming to a family who loves her dearly already.

Problems with the wait time...

I mentioned a few posts back that I would explain a major problem we have with a wait time of 2 1/2 MORE years.  Throughout our 4 year wait, we've had to make sure all of our paperwork stays updated.  This gets very expensive since each form could be hundreds of dollars to renew.  One in particular is our paperwork from the U.S. Gov't allowing us to bring a child into the country.  This form CANNOT expire so every 18 months we're renewing it.  Thankfully, due to the extremely loooong wait from China, the U.S. allows every other renewal to be FREE.  Hallelujuah!!!  Here's the problem...our next renewal is one of the free ones but after that, there isn't a renewal available.  About two years ago, the U.S. and China entered into the Hague process which basically means a much more strict adoption process between the two countries.  Because our paperwork was already logged into China we were "grandfathered" into the Hague process which means we didn't have to do all the extra stuff.  After our next free renewal a "grandfathered" renewal isn't available so we'll be forced to enter the Hague process which means lots and lots of extra paperwork, classes, etc... all at an extra cost to us.  We're hoping to have received our referral before that happens, so please pray we'll be in China and back before the 2 1/2 year mark!

While we've been waiting...

Soon after beginning our adoption journey, we realized we needed additional support from the adoption community.  We really didn't know anyone who had adopted so we weren't sure where to turn.  Our agency has a great support system but we weren't always able to make the drive to where they held their meetings.  I think it's extremely important to surround yourself with people who support adoption and we wanted to provide that opportunity to others as well.  The church we had recently joined had a membership of about 8,000 so we KNEW there had to be lots of folks there who could be of support to those adopting.  We started the ADOPT (ADoptions Of His Perfect Timing) Ministry with the full support of our church family and the 40+ families in our church who had been blessed by adoption.  We don't facilitate adoptions, but simply provide support to families before, during and after the completion of their adoption.  We have seen about 10 children come home to their forever families so far.  We have even seen one of those children come to accept Christ since they've been home.  That's what it's all about!!!!
Our family has also grown since we began our adoption journey.  We weren't sure what to do about expanding our family during our wait time (which at the time was supposed to be 15 months) because China will not let you adopt if you become pregnant during your wait time.  We decided that God knew what He was doing so we would simply leave it up to Him.  Each month the wait time from China got longer and longer and longer and we weren't getting pregnant either.  It seemed like we would be a one child family forever!!  Well, 5 years and 2 weeks after the birth of our first daughter, our beautiful second child was born.  Thankfully, China had just changed their policy to allow for pregnancy during the wait time.  The new policy now says that your biological child must be one year old before you can accept a referral from China.  (You may also pursue another adoption during your wait as long as your child is in your home for one year before accepting a referral from China.)  It seemed like forever waiting to be pregnant again, but God knew what He was doing.  If I had become pregnant much sooner we would have been "kicked out" of the China program.  It has been so neat to watch God orchestrate so many things for His glory during all of this.  Even if our adoption NEVER happens, we have learned so much and hopefully shown others the love of Christ through our journey.

How the time goes...

Just to let you know how things are flowing on the adoption front.  The China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) sends out referrals (the matching of families & children) once a month.  Once they have sent them out for the month you know nothing else will happen for the rest of the month.   Our log in date (LID) is September 2006.
~In Dec. 2009 referrals were matched for LID: April 1-3, 2006
*none were sent in Jan. because it was LATE Dec. before they matched any in Dec.
~Feb. 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 4-5, 2006
~March 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 6-11, 2006
~April 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 12-17, 2006
~May 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 18-21, 2006
~June 2010 referrals were matched for LID: April 22-26, 2006

As you can see, it's taken from Dec.2009-June 2010 (7 months) to not even get through ONE MONTH of  log in dates.  Our LID being September means who knows how much longer this could take.  I wanted to post this to show you how things work and see how slowly things are moving.  Many of you have asked "how much longer"...I hope this shows you that we really don't know.  You never know if they will match 2 days next month or a week, or possibly even more?????  We're expecting to wait 2 1/2 more years.  I'll post again to explain our problem with a 2 1/2 year wait from now.  Stay tuned!!

More adoption story

Our paperwork (dossier) arrived in China in August of 2006 where the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) checks everything to make sure we sent everything and then in September of 2006 we were OFFICIALLY logged in.  That basically means we got on a very, very long list.  Everything is done in chronological order by your log in date (LID) so it's a very important day.  Really, once everything gets to China, the only thing left to do is wait!  We went on about our everyday business, prayed for our daughter in China, her birthmother and for ourselves to be patient.  M1 (our firstborn) was growing up, we hosted a Chinese exchange student for a semester so we could learn more about the culture, Doug switched jobs and I was babysitting everyday for 2 sweet girls.  Life was sweet!  In China, due to the extreme overpopulation, there is a "One Child Policy" which basically means that each family is only allowed to have one child.  Due to the culture and lack of government retirement plans, most families want to have a boy.  Once a daughter gets married she is considered property of her husband's family thus no longer able to care for her own parents as well.  However, a son will continue to care for his parents financially as well as bring in a daughter-in-law to help care for them.  Also, in the more rural areas a boy is a better help on the farm.  Most of these practices are in the rural areas where everything is more "old school".  Because of this, many, many baby girls are not wanted.  If a family has a girl, they might want to "get rid of her" secretly so they can try again for their "one child=boy"  Thankfully, many of these mothers take care of themselves (not much drug/alcohol abuse) hoping for a boy and the child is given life instead of aborted (or the mother's don't have access to ultrasound).  Also in China it's against the law to abandon your child or place for adoption so these families must secretly abandon the child as to not be in trouble.  Many of the girls are wrapped up in blankets and placed in a public area such as a market or dropped off secretly on the steps of an orphanage.  I know most of this sounds horrible.  At first I thought so as well.  Please keep in mind that the government was trying to cut back on the extreme overcrowding (not that I agree with their Communist government), their culture is very proud and having a boy for most families is the life or death of the family.  I'm sure most birthmothers who have a girl DO NOT want to choose abandonment (as a mother myself, I just cannot imagine....) but they are at the mercy of their husbands and his family and again, the culture of a NEEDING  a boy might be too great.  I envision my daugter's birthmother kissing her little face over and over and over before wrapping her in a blanket and placing her somewhere to be found...then walking away.  Then hiding somewhere to watch and make sure she's o.k. and picked up by someone responsible.  What if the baby cries before she's picked up....I just can't imagine how the birthmother's heart must just break.  Please pray for the many, many families who must make this horrible decision on a daily basis.  China has now changed their policy to allow for 2 children, unless the first is a boy, which would mean you are done.  However, now the second girl is facing the same fate of abandonment so they can try again for a boy.  It's a horrible situation.  I won't even get into the families who choose death for their daughter instead of adoption.  It can get very cruel.  China has a very good system of adoption and years ago, the wait time was about 9 months.  Because of that TONS AND TONS of people chose to adopt from China (us included) which caused the list of families to get "crazy long".   That's where the problem is...we are in line in a very, very long list.  I'm hoping our daughter hasn't even been born yet.  Please be praying for her, for her birthmother, for her birth family...they have some difficult days ahead of them.   Please pray for our daughter to get good care in the orphanage while she waits for us to come get  her.  I'll write again soon to let you know how close we are.

Adoption Journey, cont.

Once we realized that we had been called to adopt we researched several agencies and countries and settled on adopting from China and using the agency, America World Adoption Association (AWAA).  Thus began the long process of collecting paperwork, meetings and funding.  When you are pursuing an adoption there is so much to be done.  You have to collect paperwork such as birth certificates, marriage certificates, fingerprinting, background check (local & federal), financial records, etc...  Then each of these things must be notarized by a local notary, then authenticated by the county clerk, certified by the Secretary of State, then sent to the federal government for signatures by the U.S. Secretary of State.  Just getting everything signed takes weeks!!  I'm not even going to start talking about the money that is required for each step...except to say that most of the money at the beginning goes to pay someone for a service they are providing (social workers for meetings & home studies, clerks, couriers, doctor visits, FedEx, etc...).  Before we even had our name on the list in China to adopt we had spend $9,274.49...but who's counting! The longest part of the paperwork (also called a dossier, pronounced da-see-ay) is waiting for your approval from our government to be allowed to bring a child into our country.  Waiting for your approval can take up to 3 months.  All of this work is affectionately called your "paper pregnancy" and it's full of labor pains :)  When we sent our dossier off to China the wait time was 13-14 months.  I was keeping a journal of everything we were doing about the adoption and it's funny now to go back and read from Jan. 2007 when I was bummed the wait time had been increased to 15 months.  I was thinking we would get our referral (the paperwork from China that has the picture, medical, etc... about your child for you to accept) by Christmas of 2007.  Just to get you up to speed...in Sept. 2010 we will have been waiting for 4 years and the wait time now is 50-51 months with the wait time increasing by a month each month.  I realize this post seems like I'm complaining about having to wait so long, pay so much, etc...but I really don't mean for it to.  We know God has a plan for us, a child for us, and the money to provide for us to complete this adoption in His time.  Many people have asked about our "adoption story" so I want to be as realistic as possible when I write this.  China is the only country at this time with a wait lasting years and years.  If you are interested in adoption, please don't let this discourage you.  I probably wouldn't recommend adopting from China if you are interested in a short wait time, but there are many other places to research.  I'll write again letting you know what's happened since mailing our paperwork off!

How it all began...

Back in January of 2005 I was providing childcare in my home to a precious, precious child.  Her baby dedication was being held at a local church and our family was invited to be there.  We had been attending a small church but was looking for a larger church in the area to join.  We had spent several weeks visiting other churches but hadn't found THE one for us yet.  After attending this baby dedication we decided to go back and visit this church again.  The second Sunday we visited was the Sanctity of Human Life Sunday.  As we sat there in the sanctuary and saw the many, many families go forward who had been blessed by adoption, we were touched.  Not touched in the sense of "awww, that's sweet", "I'm going to cry", etc... but touched by God saying "this is what you are to do for Me."  Before we could get back to the car (and we were parked CLOSE in the visitor parking), we were looking at each other and saying, "we should adopt".  We went home and began researching agencies, countries, cost, etc...  We already had one child who was not quite 2 at the time and were looking to soon expand our family anyway.  So, our journey began...

Trying again...

I tried to work on my blog and totally ruined it.  For those of you who have been following our blog and our adoption, please be patient as I try to repost our adoption journey and the log in dates from China.  When I get a few spare minutes (yeah, right....) I'll try to get everything back on here.  Don't worry, I'll be back!