Ughh...

I've had so many people telling me lately how patient I am.  Well, I'm not.  I'm about to go comletely nuts.  I really don't know if this adoption is ever going to be completed.  I have typed, mailed, copied, filled-out, paid, faxed, emailed and written anything and everything I could possibly imagine the past 6 years all in hopes of finally being on US soil with my daughter.  I do have a picture now.  I have a name, an age, a dot on a map showing where she lives.  I have 3 paragraphs about her history.  3 paragraphs!!!  That's all I'll have from her first 13 months of life.  I have a crib set up in the room she'll be sharing with her sister.  I have a closet lined up with precious dresses and drawers filled with neatly folded clothes.  Her shoes are neatly lined up, just waiting......  I am so sick and tired of waiting.  We turned in & received confirmation on our LAST piece of paperwork.  Everything is completely out of our hands now while we wait for China and the Chinese Embassy to complete everything else.  Unfortunately, there is a holiday in China this week so nothing can be done until next week, at least.  Then, it's 10 business days for the next step, 2-4 weeks for the next one, wait for travel approval, then travel 2 1/2-4 weeks after that.  I just can't imagine the time when we're not waiting on something.  I really, really am trying to enjoy these last few months with our family of 4.  I'm really trying to enjoy the time I can give my 2 older girls before our transition begins.  Really, most of the time I do ok.  I just have moments like this one where I don't see that it's ever going to end.  I know it will be in God's perfect timing.  I remind myself of that.  I know it to be truth.  But, it's still really. really. hard.